baby boba

nina texted earlier to invite us to hang out with her, kevin, and their "baby boba" at honey boba. we were originally supposed to go to a bonfire with anthony's relatives, but due to yet another sore boob we ended up not going. i couldn't imagine being at the beach and having to nurse in the car. everyday is increasingly harder. i realized that i'm not getting any better, in fact i'm only getting worse. i've been taking so many medications and supplements, and i think my body is having a hard time handling all this stress. i've unintentionally lost a ton of weight, have mysteriously broken out in rashes all over my body, and just feel unwell in general. i feel like i'm just beating myself up. after a stressful morning, i told anthony that i wasn't sure i could do it anymore. he's been my BF cheerleader this whole time. of course he also wants what's "best" for the baby (breastmilk) so he would always encourage me and tell me i'm doing a great job when i would tell him i'm failing. this time, he simply replied, "okay." but then while i was at the baby shower i started doubting myself again and told myself that i COULD do it. i keep trying to think of ways of making this work. i've considered just closing up shop on the bad boob and breastfeeding from the good one, not caring that that would leave me lopsided. i also thought about just exclusively pumping. so when i got home and had another stressful feed, i decided to try pumping instead. it left me feeling worse and just more engorged. i just felt so lost. i prayed for God to give me a clear yes or no answer as to whether i should quit breastfeeding. and then at honey boba, without even telling her what i prayed for, jonah kindly told me that i'm done. thanks, God, for answering me through a caring friend in a place we weren't even supposed to be.

anna's baby shower

reese and i went to anna's baby shower this afternoon. she is expecting babygirl #2! melissa's face makes me laugh in the picture. right before it was taken, cassie told her that she had something in her teeth. haha.. poor melly!

helpers

i'm really thankful to have so much family nearby to help me out. i had to ask my mom to come over this morning because my boob plugged up AGAIN! it still took a few hours to clear up, but at least i knew what to expect this time. i can't keep doing this. it's wearing me out mentally and physically. thankfully, auntie fely randomly showed up at my doorstep later in the afternoon because she wanted to see reese. she doesn't even drive, so she took the bus! it's so nice to have all these helping hands!

jenn

after another painful day, i was happy to escape for a bit. jenn and i went to yamadaya for some ramen and chit chat. apparently the mama's boy wasn't too happy about that. haha. it was necessary for my sanity, though!

superbaby

as strong as i'm trying to be, things just keep getting harder and harder. i ended up back at the doctor this morning because my boob was SO SWOLLEN. it was scary. my doctor told me it's a plugged duct, prescribed me some motrin, apologized for not being able to ease my pain, and promised that it would clear up with some hard work on my part. that "hard work" ended up being the worst pain i've ever felt in my life. anthony had to take the day off again, and his mom and sis had to come over to help us watch the baby while i worked on my boob. it hurt more than giving birth, no lie. after many painful hours, it finally did clear up, so thank God for that! i just wish i was stronger, like superbaby russ.

peekaboo

i see you.

reese and london

reese and london reunited today at the bbq. reese was quite excited to see his ladyfriend, but she was not enthused! haha. she's like, "next!" he even dressed to impress! see!


his ninong, ryan, sent him this super cute golf outfit a couple days ago! haha. love it!

elyssa's birthday

we went to corona today for elyssa's 15th birthday bbq! i love this pretty, little lady!

teal pants

this is TMI, but today was the first time in a week that it did not hurt to wear a shirt! i got some miracle ointment for my sore boob and it has really started to heal up nicely! to celebrate we went to del amo mall to walk around for a bit. yesterday when we were at citadel, i saw these teal pants at h&m that i wanted to try on, but decided not to because it was super crowded and i didn't want to wait in line. i couldn't stop thinking about them, though, so after coming home from the mall i texted rianne this picture to show her that i ended up getting them afterall! haha. the shirt is new, too. anthony had some store credit so i only ended up paying about $8 for my new outfit. w00t w00t!

citadel

instead of staying home all day focusing on my sore boobs, rianne convinced us to go to the citadel outlets for some retail therapy. i didn't end up buying anything, but i'm really glad we went anyway. getting out for some fresh air really makes a difference!